Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc: After this, therefore because of this
by Nyodrite
Summary: Haruka opened his eyes to find a purple box before him. [Congratulations! You have unlocked the Fourth Wall, earning access to Alternate Life skills! Nakamori Haruka has obtained the ability Gamer!]
1. Nakamori Haruka: Is In Fact A Boy

[Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc: After this, therefore because of this]

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 **Nakamori Haruka: Is In Fact A Boy**

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It was, in retrospect, all Haruka's fault.

He had been the one to, after finding out that Naruto was learning to summon toads (finding out with a toad resting on his chest when he woke up with the message _'Look what I learned!'_ from his teammate), track Maito Gai down to take him to wherever Kakashi-sensei had squirrelled away with Sasuke to train. He had then, while Gai challenged his rival, mentioned the summoning toads to Sasuke which immediately got the competitive Uchiha on board to ask Sensei to teach them how to summon.

They could not learn Ninken, which honestly disappointed Haruka because those dogs were _awesome_ , since their loyalty meant that they only allowed a single summoner at a time so they went with the Reverse Summoning method. Sasuke went first, he was gone a half hour and returned a bit messy with a bunch of brown feathers sticking to him but looking satisfied when he announced that he now had Hawk Summons.

Then it was Haruka's turn, which is where things went wrong.

When he reversed summoned himself, Nakamori Haruka appeared not in the entryway to a summon clan's territory that suited him but in a chaotic whirlwind of color, sound and feeling. _Something_ connected, or multiple somethings, and then he was thrown back- memories of past lives bombarding him, leaving him sprawled on his back with Sensei peering down at him with a bit of concern.

"That was horrible-" Haruka complained, Leon Harper's memories of wizarding travel coming to the front, _like a portkey._

Sensei helped him up, "

"Did it work?" Sasuke asked.

Haruka shrugged, then nodded because _something_ happened. He felt lackluster, exhausted and worn out from reliving previous lives along with going over his current life- Haruka made a note to self (feel a pang of longing for Cedric) to apologize to Sakura for taking her place even though-... Haruka glared at Sasuke, "I am a _boy_."

His suspicion was correct, Sasuke went wide-eyed. "B-but! You never joined us at public baths! And always got your own room! And every team has a kunoichi!"

"You only ever go to try to see Sensei's face which, while I'm sure would be pretty awesome to finally actually _see_ , isn't really a good enough reason to pay for bathing I can do for free at home. I like my space," Haruka said. "And the previous Ino-Shika-Cho were an all male team."

"Haruka-chan's gender aside." Kakashi said, seeming amused. "Gai, I think it's time to take him back."

He eyed his teacher suspiciously, because he just noticed that Sensei had never referred to him as a gender until now, but couldn't say anything with how the Green Beast swept him up. "Of Course My Rival! There is Much to Prepare For! Let Us Go Haruka-kun!"

 _Apparation,_ Haruka mused as the world blurred away in the jōnin's _shunshin_ , _is worse but not by much. Much better then Continent Warpings though._

The first thing he did, since he felt guilty taking her place even if he hadn't _known_ it at the time, was track down Haruno Sakura. Then he was faced with the realization that A) who couldn't just apologize out of nowhere for something he couldn't explain and B) Haruno Sakura _hated_ him.

"Did you need something, Nakamori-san?" the little pink haired girl said in a barely polite tone.

Haruka, because he was useless in confrontations he couldn't ignore or fight, blurted out, "My team thinks I'm a girl."

"Um." Sakura blinked rapidly in surprise then, slowly, asked. "...are you?"

And, because he really didn't have anything else to talk to her about, nodded rapidly. " _No!_ They thought I was a girl- I'm not even sure _Sensei_ knew before I told them I was, in fact, a boy- and I bet Naruto _still_ thinks I am a girl! And I don't know why that happened! It's not like I _dress_ like a girl! I don't even know-!" He might have flailed, just a bit, but he was sure the girl wouldn't be questioning why he was talking to _her_ about this.

"You don't dress like a girl," Sakura told him. "But, well, your hair is purple- even if it's dark- and long- even if it's wild- which you keep in a ponytail along with using your forehead protector as a headband like me...plus you're always wearing a scarf so it's not like we could _see_ if you were a boy…and you _were_ in kunoichi class..."

"Haruno-chan, I am sorry but you are going to be my new Cedric." Haruka told her, chin tucked into his black scarf- ignoring the confused 'new Cedric' mouthing to say philosophically "Everyone needs a Cedric." Then he was grabbing her arm and dragging her out of her house with a, "I'm kidnapping your daughter for the evening, Haruno-san!"

"W-what are you doing!?" Sakura shrieked.

"Kidnapping with parental consent!" He told her, laughter bubbling as he wound through the streets to Team 7's training ground. "Now," Haruka said when they made it to the training ground, whirling to face her as he let her go. "Let's train."

Sakura did as terribly as the Clan did when Leon and the Court of Clams first introduced PE to Hogwarts; her endurance was nothing and her experience seemed nonexistent but. She kept getting up and the Hufflepuff in him was pleased, so he called a quits when the sun started setting and treated her to a meal at _Snack Akimichi_.

"What have you been doing since graduation?" He asked her between gobbling down the yakiniku then said, "Eat you katsudon."

Sakura startled a bit but obediently popped a bit of tonkatsu in her mouth, "I…" She said once swallowing. "Haven't done much of anything...the team I was assigned to failed so I'm-..." She shrugged.

"Are you going back to the Academy?" Haruka asked, getting another shrug. "Well, maybe you should go talk to Iruka-sensei, explain what you want to do- what kind of goals you have for the future- and maybe he can give some advice on how to proceed."

She stalled with another mouthful. "I don't know, going back seems-...I think I will talk to Iruka-sensei first." Then redirected the conversation, "What are you doing now?"

"Training for the Chūnin Exam final stage," He answered. "It's a tournament and I'll be fighting a foreign shinobi named Kinuta Dosu. The one who was helping me," Which, interestingly enough, was _Tenzo/Yamato_. "Was called for a mission so I'm on my own now but it's only a few days and I've already got a couple of Suiton jutsu to master so it's not bad."

Sakura was frowning a bit now, "Your sensei isn't teaching you?"

"Well he did teach me summoning." _I think. Maybe. Depends on what the heck happened._ "But he's teaching Sasuke how to use the Sharingan and prepare him for Gaara." Gaara, whom was insane and yet his favorite of the generation even whilst insane, whom he kind of wanted to hug like his teeny, first-year minions of the Court. Though, speaking of the Court-... "Note to Sakura, change Court to Clan Vongola."

Wide green eyes, he had a sudden pang for his cub, looked at him in confusion. "I'm sorry, note to _me_?"

"My notes to self aren't frequently remembered," Haruka explained. "So I make notes to Cedric and since you are my new Cedric, it is now Notes to Sakura. Plus, you have one of the best memories of our year- you'd make a pretty awesome poison specialist or medic with it."

She flushed a bit, "You think so?" It was hopeful and he suddenly wondered what things were like for the graduates whom failed to become Genin, how that must _feel_. "Change Court to Clan Vongola," she repeated. "What does that mean?"

"I'll tell you when I figure it out." He answered because he really doubted that, this being a _ninja_ village in a not-Earth world, he'd be smuggling books, instruments, art supplies, sports equipment and the like. "Ready to go?"

It wasn't until later, after he walked Sakura home and had taken a shower, that Haruka paused in the middle of his apartment (a literal one room apartment since he never really gotten around to moving out to larger one after becoming a Genin). "I just took Haruno Sakura on a _date_."

Then shook his head, laid down in bed and _breathed_ before attempting Occlumency for the first time in this life.

Occlumency was something that Leon had started learning about at the end of fourth year, after 'learning' about Ginny Weasley's possession he'd taken it upon himself to research mental protections to put his newest minion at ease and by fifth year he had found a decent enough book to start learning Occlumency. Cedric, who started learning with him, was better at the traditional 'suppression' method but Leon had remembered reading fanfictions of 'guards' and 'mazes' instead of just the 'blank' or 'wall' so he tried to make a maze, though not of the general Hogwarts because it was _known_ . His mind maze had been a self-created dungeon that was heavily influenced by the Water Temple in Ocarina of Time with guards of all kinds- from dragons, hippogriffs and a basilisk from the Wizarding World to Griffins from Tortall, zombies from Resident Evil and even Pokémon. And it _worked_ so it was this he taught to his minions that Cedric couldn't teach the suppression method- by the time of Leon's death, everyone in the Court could successfully defend their mind one way or another.

It was that maze that Haruka intended to recreate.

Entering his mindscape, Haruka found that in a room that was a mimic of his apartment. His memories of his current life was organized enough for having never actively organized them; his old childhood memories (five and under) were hidden in boxes in the closet, his happy memories were on his bed, his cooking/cleaning memories were in the kitchen area (fridge and sink), his knowledge (things learned at the Academy, the library or from Sensei) was on the table while his 'regular' memories were tucked under the table and hygiene memories were stuffed in the bathroom. All the memories of his previous lives were strewn all across the floor though.

With a sigh he set about recreating the 'water maze'.

The first 'level' was solely Haruka's memories, the safe and common house care memories lined the entrance hall with the 'tower' room memories of hygiene, in that room was an unlocker; a wood plate that read [The Will of ?] with a keyboard of wood hanging below it, a small sign before it said [Fill in the blank. You have three tries.] of course he left no mention that the guards- all currently just statues- would awaken if the first answer was wrong. Getting it correct made a door to the left of the tower appear along with a path, in that room was his regular memories and another unlocker that read [Those who abandon the mission are trash but ?] with the same sign as earlier- this made three more doors appear in the room; one to childhood, one to knowledge and one to happy memories.

The room that held happy memories had a level shifter that was like the unlocker and read [Never Tickle ?] though it was in silver plating with no sign.

Level two held Leon's memories and level three had Hana's while the basement level held the memories of his very first life- the one that gave him his knowledge of the different 'worlds' he was in. The basement's level changer read [Sing a song for Alfred F. Jones] only and it was _infested_ with zombies that attacked anything that wasn't _him_ . It was when he was entering the tower that he found a door that he _hadn't_ created, it was a mesh of colors- like a rainbow had vomited paint all over it and then toddlers had smeared it all about- with a giant black keyhole at it's center and Haruka was reminded of Kingdom Hearts.

"What-?" Was all he managed before his hand, which he had raised curiously, touched the keyhole and it _unlocked_.

 _"She's an akita, what should we call her?" a woman's voice asked and a child's voice answered with, "She's white so we should call her Snowball!"_

 _"Are you sure about this Haru-chan?" a woman's voice asked and a child's said, "Yeah! I'm gonna be a ninja Kaachan! Just you watch- I'll be one of the best!"_

 _"You're a big sister Hana." A man's voice said and a child's huffed, "My otouto looks weird- like an alien."_

 _"How did you get your vegetables on the ceiling, Leon?!" a woman's voice cried and a child's said, "I dunno. Magic-"_

 _"I'm a wizard? Do I have to wear a pointy ha- I am Leon Harper, thanks for helping me Cedric- we're both in Hufflepuff! This means we're going to be best friends- the library doesn't have any books! Fine it doesn't have any good books- Hm? I asked my mom to send me some of my books from home, want to read one- I think we're going to need to learn how to use a duplication spell- we're book smugglers! We are the Ring, no that doesn't sound right. Note to Cedric- Tonks? Fine then you can't call me Leon- Name's Leon Harper, third year Hogwartian. Don't mention it- Blasphemy. Sacrilege. How could you say such a thing? I thought we were friends- Ring? I don't know what you're talking about. You may like to know that Harry, Neville and Hermione are joining the- Fine. How about the Fellowship of the Clams? Or the League of Extraordinary Clams? Fullmagic Clam Brotherhood? Dead Clams Society? Organization Clam? Our Own Hogwarts Clam Club- say nothing Cedric, Song of the Lioness is_ **_classic!_ ** _\- they go beyond the main Fantasy genre. There are plans on expanding but the Court of Clams- I already know you've had a Muggle Education, the question is- My mentor, Archie, took his lessons at night, the hour before dinner started so that's when I took them as a first year. I didn't like it- Don't be a half-chewed flapjack, Cedric. You're a King of Man at heart- Note to Cedric: Make a Bag of Holding and/or Hammer Space-..."_

 _"Slytherin. Huh how'd that- It's different, certainly. I still have my own room but it's bigger with a bathroom connected and from what I can tell most just stay in their rooms- let's make a rock Cedric- Wanna visit the Forbidden Corridor- Let's learn how to conjure roosters- we need to learn the Patronus and Animagus Revealer spells- Of a kind I suppose. The point is that I knew these things were going to happen and, whatever action I took, have I ever done something that truly, seriously harmed you, Cedric Diggory- Frankly. I don't care. You are my friend and you are safe. But, if it will put you at ease, I know that none of the seventeen year olds- Funny thing that, I'm apparently a Black bastard-..."_

 _"How is this going to work? I mean there's a lot- Forty-four, apparently, members of the Court of Clams which range from pets, magical creatures and graduates to a ghost, some portraits and a muggle- Alright people! We know that the Court has been entered and that we can't get out of it. We also know that we all have to, in some capacity, partake in the tasks. First thing! Team leaders are Fleur, Viktor and- So well have to something from them rather then fight if they specifically wanted nesting mothers. What we need now, is to divide up the teams- Well then. I chose Cedric- Oh don't be a partially digested steak, Cedric-..."_

 _""Sorry we're late! You wouldn't believe the traffic- Now that The Dreaded is gone, time for us to begin! My name, as you should know from last year, is Leon Harper- My friend, assistant, moral compass and all around minder is Cedric Diggory but you may call him Cesar Hufferton XII- since barring the much loved Professor Lupin, may he find happiness wherever he is, the crop of DADA teacher you've got was rather...sucky with various performance issues- Now that you all know how things will be going, I won't be going easy so it's best to be aware, have your wands out and- Not the answer I was looking for but I'll give you five points simply because it amused me so. Nah, what you kittens- Since we're just about out of time, I want each of you to come up with three variations of the Shield Charm-..."_

 _"Well, that's not at all vaguely creepy- That's insulting. It's not like I don't talk to others in school- though if the 'starting point' was me getting my letter then I guess it makes sense- 'Year 1 Supplies is a Sub Quest, to complete this quest you must get all your school supplies before September 1. Reward: +200 EXP, School Supplies, MP Unlock, M. Atk Unlock and Free Mode Unlock.' I wonder what Free Mode's like? Next- That is cruel and unusual punishment, Mother-mine. Who told my mom- Make a note- Draca! Retto anlis nariin ynna agga-!"_

It was the last bit that really hit him and stuck- and the feeling he'd felt when he'd reversed summoned himself rose, swirling and probing before sweeping in a great tide of _intent_ that pushed him out of his body. Haruka opened his eyes to find a purple box before him.

 **Congratulations!** _You have unlocked the Fourth Wall, earning access to Alternate Life skills! Nakamori Haruka has obtained the ability_ _Gamer_ _!_

"Well," Haruka said, dismissing the box. "At least I don't have to learn the game system again."

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 **A/N: Basically there are many versions of Leon Harper on my AO3 account. He was then reborn as Nakamori Haruka and, well, this.**


	2. Haruka Doesn't Get Out Of Bed

**In Which Haruka Doesn't Even Get Out Of Bed In The Morning**

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The very first thing that Haruka did when he woke the morning following unlocking his old (alternate) abilities was check his inventory, knowing that items could carry over during rebirths- and what was reincarnation but a type of rebirth?

He was relieved to find that the inventory was the 'unlimited' one that Gamer!Leon had unlocked in his Sixth Year rather then the starting 6x10 inventory. What surprised him was that there were items that were from each version of Leon; 5 wands, 3 Hufflepuff uniforms, 1 Slytherin uniform, 1 pair of jeans, 1 black sweatshirt with a red stencil dragon on it with a "Do not poke a sleeping dragon for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup chocolate", 5 pairs of dragon-hide boots, 1 pair of dragon-hide gloves, 1 vial of Veritaserum, 1 shield (stolen from the suits of armor and with runes scratched into it), 2 harmonicas, 1 ocarina, 1 incomplete skit, 1 quill, 2 chocolate frogs, 2 school bags, 1 potion kit, 9 textbooks (Herbology, Transfiguration, Charms, CoMC and DADA), 1 smartphone, 1 laptop, 1 desk computer (with everything needed), 3 IPods, 3 pairs of headphones, 1 phone charger, 2 IPod chargers, 1 laptop charger, 1 solar power charger, 1 trunk of old school supplies, 1 trunk of "cool things", 1 trunk of "stuff" and 1 trunk dedicated to reading books.

There was also 786 galleons, 2 sickles and 17 knuts that helpfully converted themselves to 91,612 ryō when he selected it- that was bumped up 176,612 ryō when he added the money he'd been saving from his missions.

After that, Haruka proceeds to start the lengthy process of uploading the IPods to the 'music' feature of the game system to give him a background soundtrack, hiring the sound effects/voice volumes to 85 with the music volume set at 25. While the music is loading he looks at his character info.

 **Nakamori Haruka - [x]**

**Age:** 12

 **Level:** 24

 **Class:** Genin*

 **Title:** The Reborn**

 **HP:** 1200/1200

 **MP:** 480/480***

 **SP:** 1432/1440

 **EXP:** 0/2400

 **Str:** 27

 **Con:** 27

 **Int:** 35

 **Dex:** 23

 **Wis:** 46

 **Cha:** 29

 **Will:** 44

 **Per:** 31

 **Luck:** 40

 **AP:** 24

 **Atk:** 36 **\- Def:** 23

 **Atk:** 15 **\- M. Def:** 10

* _+5 Str. +5 Per. + 4 Dex. +4 Con. +1 Will. -5 Int._  
** _+8 Int. +10 Wis. +9 Will. +3 Luck. +5 Cha._ _  
_*** Character has never used MP. MP is halved as consequence.

The next thing Haruka check [ _"Music Downloading: 28% Complete"_ ] was the 'Fame' area which, interestingly, had a new bar at the bottom that read;

 **Reputation:** 15*

* _Your reputation is how well known you are, inside and out of your village._

What was even _more_ interesting is that teammates apparently counted as _family_ instead of getting their very own tab;

 **Family - 3 - [x]**

**Jōnin Sensei -** **Hatake Kakashi**

Friendly: 400/1000

 **Fellow Genin - Uchiha Sasuke**

Neutral: 750/1000

 **Fellow Genin - Uzumaki Naruto**

Friendly: 870/1000

Neutral is where relationships started with a 10/1000, it went up to Friendly, then Fond, the Affectionate, then Caring and ending at Loving- the other direction went down to Annoyances, then Rival, then Irritants, Hated and ended at Enemy.

" _Uchiha_." Haruka huffed, rolling his eyes as he dismissed the entire 'Fame' section. The next thing he did was save, finding that instead of the 30+ files that Leon had, Haruka only had 20 files. "Preferential treatment." He told the game system before he went to the 'Quest' section;

 **Quests - [x]**

**Squeaky Clean - DQ:** 0% Complete

 **Chūnin Exam - Q:** 76.28% Complete

 **Jōnin - MQ:** 20.51% Complete

 **Relearn Skills - SQ:** 0.01% Complete

He ignored the Daily Quest, already knowing it, reading the other three quests out, "'Chūnin Exam is a regular Quest, to complete this quest you must finish the exam. Reward: +5000 EXP. Bonus: Make Chūnin. Reward: +10000 EXP, +30 Rep, +3 AP.' Like there wasn't enough motivation to getting promoted? 'Jōnin is a Main Quest, to complete this quest you must make Jōnin rank. Reward: +500000 EXP, +100 Rep, +10 AP.' Wow. Nothing Leon did ever had that kind of reward. 'Relearn Skills is a Special Quest, to complete this quest you must level fifteen Skills up to 40. Reward: +5000 EXP, +8 AP, +1 Special Item, +1 Rare Ability.' What the heck is a rare ability?"

"Yesterday…" Haruka thought back, "It referred to this whole system as the 'Gamer Ability' would that mean completing the Special Quest would get me something similar to it? Open Pets."

Leon had only ever used the 'Pets' function to occasionally call Karasuno the crow, Inuyasha the cat, Moontail the Belgian Tervuren or Nightclaw the Belgian Sheepdog to him. Looking at it, Haruka knew that he would be using it more then Leon ever had.

 **Pets - [X]**

**Pet:** 0  
 **Familiars:** 0*  
 **Summons:** 3/7**

* _Familiars are companions that can fight beside you, having a familiar can earn Companion Boosts. Only 1 familiar may be equipped at any time._ _  
_** _Due to the Fourth Wall unlock and Alternate Lives access, Summons are pulled from different Slots. Summoning is a Shinobi Skill and can be advanced with successful usage._

 **Summons - 3/7 - [x]**

**Slot 1:** [Original] - (Random)  
 **Slot 2:** [Haikyuu] - (Random)  
 **Slot 3:** [Harry Potter] - (Random)  
 **Slot 4:** Unassigned  
 **Slot 5:** Unassigned  
 **Slot 6:** Unassigned **  
****Slot 7:** Unassigned

 **Order:** Shuffle*

* _The order determines which world you summon from for each try. You are Unable to choose a different order at this time._

"So I _can_ summon!" Haruka said, pleased even if it was weirder then usual. He looked at Skills next, which was an enormous list but he narrowed down to a few skills that he decided would be the most useful to start relearning.

 **Ninja - Active - Level 1:** _This skill allows you to blend in with your surroundings and go unnoticed. Time: 1 Minute. Cost: 5 MP. EXP: 0/100._

 **Invisibility - Active - Level 1:** _This skill turns you invisible. Time: 30 Seconds. Cost: 15 MP. EXP: 0/100._

 **Animal Tamer - Active - Level 1:** _This skill allows to befriend animals and control them to certain extents. Cost: 5 MP. EXP: 0/100._

 **Runecrafting - Active - Level 1:** _This skill allows you to create rune arrays. Cost: 10 MP. EXP: 0/100._

 **Observe - Active - Level 1:** _This skill lets you learn things about what you observe. Cost: 5 MP. EXP: 0/100._

 **Summoning - Active - Level 1:** _This skill lets you summon creatures to assist you. Time: 30 Seconds. Cost: 25 MP. EXP: 0/100._

 **Teleport - Active - Level 1:** _This skill lets you teleport between two spots. Distance: 10 Yards. Cost: 25 MP. EXP: 0/100._

 **Null Void Create - Active - Level 1:** _This skill lets you make voids- time flows slower in voids then in the real world. Cost: 15 MP. EXP: 0/100._

 **Null Void Escape - Active - Level 1:** _This skill lets you leave voids. Cost: 10 MP. EXP: 0/100._

 **Senses - Passive - Level 1:** _This skill lets you sense things around you- the skills Canine Nose, Hawk Eyes, Bat Ears, Rabbit Feet and Chakra Sensor can be unlocked if Senses is leveled high enough. EXP: 0/100._

"I should focus on Teleport, Runecrafting, Invisibility- the Null Voids will let me do it without cutting into my other training." Haruka said to the room [ **Alert!** _Music Download is completed._ ] as his soundtrack started.

Nakamori Haruka was all kinds of amused when _Let's Hear It For The Boy_ started playing.

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 **A/N:** **The difference between a "Null Void" and an "Instant Dungeon" is that Nulls are only empty dungeons - they are more like a Hyperbolic Time Chamber.**


	3. Sandaime Is An Infernape

**In Which the Sandaime Hokage Is An Infernape**

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"Ha!" Naruto cried, grinning at him when he arrived at took his spot in the line up between the blond and Shikamaru. "I got here first. I'm faster!"

"I'm sure you are." Haruka told his teammate, grinning a bit when the Nara coughed but the blond wasn't distracted from Sasuke's absence for long.

"Hey, stop looking around." The proctor told them and Naruto focused on the man. "Face the customers- in this main tournament, you guys are the stars."

Haruka side-eyed Shikamaru, "Ah! Now I feel like merchandise- will we only be viewed for our strength or will they be interested in _other_ 'skills'?"

"Thanks everyone for coming to Konohagakure's Chūnin Exam!" The Hokage said, cutting off any reaction his comment would have gotten. "We will now start the main tournament matches between the nine participants who made it through the preliminaries. Please stay and watch until the end!"

Was he imagining the emphasis on 'end'? No matter, the proctor turned to them, holding a sheet. "There's something I'd like to tell you before the matches. Look at this."

The paper was of the tournament showcasing Naruto vs Neji followed by Gaara vs Sasuke, winners of the matches set to fight one another. Next was Kankuro vs Shino followed by Temari vs Shikamaru, winners of those fights set to fight each other. Haruka's match against Dosu was absent, instead his name was connected to the semi-finals of the winners for his teammates' fights.

"There have been some minor changes to the tournament, check once again to see who you're fighting." The proctor said.

Naruto's arm went up, "Hey! Hey!"

"What?"

The hand lowered, "Sasuke isn't here yet, what are you gonna do?"

"If he doesn't appear by the time of his match, he will receive a default loss," The man answered. "And Nakamori Haruka will be fighting his opponent instead."

Haruka blinked, leaning back to look at Gaara who was suddenly _focused_ on him. _Dammit. I still want to hug him._ He thought, offering the bloodthirsty jinchuuriki a smile before standing straight. "Understood, Senbon-san."

"Alright guys," the man said, ignoring the nickname. "This is the final test. The Arena is different but the rules are the same as in the prelims, there are none. You fight until one of you dies or acknowledges defeat. But if I determine that the fight is over I'll step in and stop it, you got that? Now, the first fight, Uzumaki Naruto. Hyuuga Neji. Those two stay here while the rest of you go to the waiting room."

 _"I don't give a fuck what you think about it, I'd just as well kill you today"_ the Nightcore version of _Murder Melody_ sang in the background and Haruka wondered if that was supposed to be an omen.

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Thing went mostly how Haruka remembered, though he was asked if he wanted to fight Gaara before the match was pushed back. When Sasuke faced off Gaara, he pulled the other Konoha genin to him, "Watch."

"Eh?" Naruto blinked, looking at him, "I _am_!"

Haruka shook his head, looked at Shikamaru and Shino instead and repeated the warning. " _Watch_." The he clapped the Aburame's shoulder, letting the tiny fold of paper fall into the coat before moving his hand away. "I'm going to the bathroom."

"What? But the fight-!" the blond cried.

He glanced back at his teammate and shrugged, "When you gotta go, you gotta go." Only once he was out of sight and hearing range did he say, "Invisibility. Teleport."

Teleport took him to the roof that he'd recalled the Hokage and Orochimaru fighting on, once there he took out the rune sheets- six to be safe- he had done for preparation to give them a last check. Haruka didn't know if the runes- Mannaz for identity, Algiz for cleansing, Jēra for balance, Raidō for change, Uruz and Thurisaz to strengthen and focus the array, a pentagon with Mannaz at the center because _identity_ was the most important part- would work but if nothing else, he'd be able to Teleport the Hokage out of the barrier so that ANBU could help the man fight.

The second thing he did was change the background music, putting the Nightcore version of _Aha!_ on repeat- _"Eat. Sleep. And breathe that you're full of the stuff. Go back, and tie it up tight-"_

Mostly to pass time, Haruka opened the Notebook feature that he kept the notes to self he couldn't have Sakura take.

 **Notebook - [x]**

**Vongola Clan** **  
**Things: **  
**_Technology? Food? Entertainment? Casino? Amusement Park?_ _  
_People:  
 _Me, Sakura, Naruto- [Ask Gaara when not bloodlusty]_ _  
_Laws:  
 _What happens there stays there?_ First rule of the Clan, do not speak of the Clan?

'Monopoly.' Haruka added to the bottom of the list. 'Conquest. Vending Machine? Virtual Reality games w/Genjutsu?' That's when Gaara started screaming so Haruka exited the pad and checked Invisibility (he still had ten minutes left). He had 480MP left, enough to Teleport with someone easily since he wouldn't be using the full distance he could go.

"Do it," the disguised Sannin said as the Sound Four landed at the corners of the roof, the four obeyed.

" _Shishienjin!_ " they cried a purple barrier rising, incinerating the ANBU whom had been unfortunate enough to hit the purple wall.

Haruka stood, watching the two (infinitely) higher level shinobi fight for a moment before his focus was on the lone female of the barrier holders and he steadily made his way to her, careful not to get hit by any stray attacks. He was a few feet away from her when the Sannin used the zombie summoning and his Invisibility failed- he could tell because the Hokage said, " _Haruka-kun!?_ "

He rushed the girl, kunai piercing her head as she failed to defend herself in favor of maintaining the barrier. For a moment, Haruka thought he'd succeeded in disrupting the barrier when it flickered but the Sound Four member that was really two people split, the extra taking the girl's place and keeping the barrier from falling.

"Dammit." Haruka cursed, repeating the word when he found that he distracted the Hokage during the summoning and now the Yondaime was present alongside the Shodai and Nidaime. " _Dammit_."

"What-" the Sandaime's voice was a bit strangled and he kind of felt bad about that. "-are you doing here, Haruka-kun?"

Haruka, who's worst consequence he'd face would be respawning and losing a level, answered with more flippancy then he'd have used if he hadn't gained the gamer ability. "I was here first- it wasn't like I was trying to get in a fight between two ridiculously powered shinobi! I just wanted to do some last-minute preparation before my round in the Chūnin Exams against Naruto and whoever."

The Yondaime's voice was kind of distorted but understandable. "Naruto...You...know him?"

"He's an idiot." Haruka told the animated corpse bluntly, "But he's my friend anyways."

" _Enough_." Orochimaru demanded, privately he thought the Sannin was angry over not noticing a Genin. "Yondaime, you deal with your brat's friend-"

Namikaze Minato's corpse looked impossibly sad, the other Hokage ranged between that and angry, so he said. "It'll be alright." It would, Haruka knew, because he got more then one try. "It's okay."

And then the corpse lived up to the epithet Yellow Flash as he attacked.

 **-1500 HP! HP: 100/1600!** The game told him. The thing about living in a game was that it was easy to heal, eating and sleeping could fix even broken bones, but that didn't mean that he did not _feel_ the injuries he got- that they were any less _real_ then if it hadn't been a game. The kunai to the gut? It was painful and, had Haruka not remember his previous deaths (elevator crash, train bombing, _Avada Kedav-_ ), it would have been the most painful thing he'd ever felt.

As it was, he stood and shook himself told the sad, _sad_ corpse again, "It's okay." Then pulled the kunai from his stomach, reached down and _dug his fingers into the wound._

 **-10 HP! -10 HP!**

" _Haruka! What are you-_ "

 **-10 HP! -10 HP!**

"I'm _fine!_ " Haruka ground- **-10 HP! -10 HP!** \- out. "Pay attention to your fight, Infernape! [ **-10 HP! -10 HP!** ]That hairy, nosey Voldemort is going to LICK you to DEATH!"

 **-5 HP! WARNING: You are at 15 HP!**

 **Alert!** _You are at 15 HP! Past Life Mode has been activated!_

Past Life Mode was something Leon had accidentally found out once when he had wandered a bit too far into giant spider territory, it was basically a transformation that turned him into his past self at it's best condition- able to use every ability that self had mastered until the HP hit zero, the past self's own HP acting as a kind of 'armor' by taking the hits before the original's. Haruka had, of course, tested it in a Null Void and it worked- it also only let him transform into Gamer!Leon which was exactly what he needed.

Gamer!Leon was a seventh year, six feet tall with slightly narrower eyes then when he was younger and the same short, messy black hair along with freckles- he wore his Hogwarts uniform (though the robe was gone and the black-yellow scarf took place of the tie) with his wand in the right hand and shield in the left, dragon hide protecting feet-to-knees and hand-to-elbows.

"Extreme Speed." Haruka said, in Gamer!Leon's bass-baritone, equipping the sheets to his hand. "Teleport. Teleport. Teleport. Teleport." Teleport got him close and Extreme Speed let him place the sheet, two on each corpse to be safe.

The wand (10½", slightly springy, English Oak, Phoenix feather) rose, falling as he said, "Rune Activate."

The estimated usage of activating the rune array and giving the Hokage back control of their bodies was 15000-20000 MP. Haruka miscalculated, it was closer to 40000 MP because the activation not only knocked him out of Past Life Mode and drained his MP to nothing, it also lowered his HP- he'd noticed it get to 2 HP before he passed out.

 _"Cost you to keep me quiet!"_ the background music sang and his last thought was, _oh go fuc-_


	4. Haruka Doesn't Get Out Of Bed (Maybe)

**In Which Haruka Doesn't Even Get Out Of Bed Though It's Not Morning (Maybe)**

 **.**

* * *

 **.**

Haruka woke to the Yondaime, looking a lot more _alive_ , leaning over him. He blinked hazily, "Right. Still asleep." He told the dream then rolled over and went back to sleep.

Next time he woke it was to Kakashi-sensei leaning over him, looking less then impressed and Haruka takes a moment to think _oh shit what did I do-?_ before remembering the whole 'dig fingers into a gut wound during a fight' and tries to roll over again- maybe next waking would be better. Third time's the charm.

" _Haru-chan._ " Sensei sing-songs in a tone that had only been directed at him once, dragging the blanket he had been trying to hide under away.

Haruka blinks up at the jōnin, trying to channel the 'harmless, innocent Hufflepuff' in him but it doesn't work so he changes tactics and beams as if he isn't in a hospital bed, "Sensei! What are you doing here?"

"Saa," Sensei plays along, kinda. "I heard that one of my cute little students was sent to the hospital with a gut wound."

He blinks once, _twice_. "Oh? Did something happen to Naruto or Sasuke? 'Cause I don't have a gut wound." He says, lifting his shirt to prove it.

"No, you don't." Kakashi agrees. "Not even a scar to show how you, reportedly, tore the wound wider with _your fingers_."

Within seconds of being subjected to that- that _soul-eating_ , _Dementor_ stare, Haruka caves. "I have an ability-" Kind of. "That makes me stronger-" Sorta. "The more injured I am. The gut wound wasn't enough to activate it so I, uh, helped."

"Don't do it again." Sensei tells him, sighing and ruffling his hair when he only shrugs- since he was sure that he'd end up needing to do something like it again. "Why do I have such a troublesome team?" the man asks the ceiling. "First Naruto stabs himself to get rid of poison, then Sasuke insists on fighting even with a Cursed Seal newly placed on him and now you deliberately tear your wounds. I thought you were the _good_ one…"

Haruka really doesn't know what to say about that so instead he asks, "What happened to Naruto and Sasuke? Oh, and Sakura, Shikamaru and Shino?"

"They're fine, mostly just minor injuries and some exhaustion." the jōnin tells him. "Hokage-sama was particularly impressed with Sakura-chan as she isn't even a Genin but managed to keep up with the Genin team following the Sand Genin."

He grinned. "I've been helping her, she took to Tree-Walking immediately."

He opened his mouth to continue but then the room was invaded by old people. Belligerent, pugnacious old people at that. And Danzo. Who was evil. "What-" The Dreaded says. "Did you do."

"Um." Haruka blinked, tilting his head to portray confusion to give himself more time to think. "What do you mean?...Sir."

The Dreaded seemed almost like a dragon, like smoke should be rising from the nose. "The Hokage. What did you do."

"I-..." He frowned, leaning away from the man and closer to his sensei, blinking. "I don't know what you mean- the Hokage is right there, though." He added helpfully, pointing to where the Sandaime, and his three ANBU guards, entered the room.

That was the kind of old person he'd want to invade his hospital room. Of course _no_ old people invading his hospital would be preferable but what have you.

"Danzo," the Sandaime said, _disapproval_ radiating from him. "Homura, Koharu. There is no reason for this. Leave."

The woman, Koharu, addressed the Hokage. "It is imperative-"

"That wasn't a suggestion," the old man said. " _Leave_." It wasn't until the invading old people retreated that the Hokage addressed them. "I apologize for that Kakashi-kun, Haruka-kun." the Kage said, taking a seat. "You can reveal yourselves now."

The ANBU masks were removed- and Genjutsu?- to show the supposed to be corpses looking human and _alive_.

"Impossible." Haruka _stared_ . "You can't bring people back to _life_."

Unless, of course, you were living life as a video game. _Dammit._

"Ah," the Shodai said. "I suppose that answers the question of if this was intentional."

"You were just supposed to get control back over your bodies," He said then _thought_. "The array was a pentagon with Mannaz at the center...Mannaz also stands for humanity and there were two components adding power to the array...maybe if it was only one and Mannaz wasn't the center it would have worked right…?"

"Array?" Sensei prompted and Haruka feigned deafness until the man said, " _Haru-chan_."

"It's Naruto's fault!" He blurted, ignoring the kage and focusing on his sensei because it was easier. "He was learning Summoning so I told Sasuke so we could convince you to teach us and then Reverse Summoning unlocked my memories of my past lives so I had to go home and fix it 'cuz the memories were just strewn _everywhere_ like dirty laundry at Naruto's apartment and doing that unlocked abilities from my past lives so now my life is like a video game and I don't even know if Hi no Kuni even _has_ video games- and this song is really not helping Change Music to Mystery Skulls _Ghost_ \- so I guess that means my life is even more like a manga then _walking on water_ and _breathing fire_ generally makes it and now I've done something impossible and my hospital room's been invaded by angry old people and multiple Hokage because that is somehow my life and I'm pretty sure Naruto _still_ thinks I'm a girl and won't believe me until I like strip _naked_ in front of him and I don't even know if the house I was going to move into after the Exam is even still there after the invasion so I don't even know if I just wasted 32,000 ryō and I haven't even had _breakfast_ yet and- and- _SENSEI!_ " He wailed, wrapping his arms around the jōnin and just hanging on.

It might have been over the top but reacting like that had gotten him (both Haruka and Leon) out of trouble before. As did crying.

Sensei, having dealt with this behavior when he'd been going through chocolate withdrawals, just patted his head before producing a chocolate bar. The jōnin waited until he took a bite _(mmm...chocolate)_ before saying, "Past lives?"

" _Mmm._ " Haruka hummed around his chocolate- honestly, it was 50/50 chance that he was emitting sparkles from his bliss. "You know about the transformation I did? That was my past self- Leon the wizard. He's how I got the gamer ability and having really low health lets me transform into him ('s why I tore the wound) which is good 'cause strength-wise I'm level 32 and Leon's closer to level 2000. So, like, higher odds."

He was handed another chocolate bar. "What does it mean to have a gamer ability?"

"I can't die." He said. "Or I can't stay dead- I just respawn to the last save point with a level lower. This is actually my third try of the invasion. First time Gaara killed me when I pushed Sasuke out of the way of an attack, second Kabuto used me as a hostage to kill you which was _not okay_ so I tried again. I figured bringing down the barrier would be good yeah? Didn't count on one to, like, birth a fourth helper but Yondaime-sama didn't kill me in one hit so it worked out."

"Haruka-kun, how many times have you died?" The Yondaime, suddenly in front of him, asked. "How many times do you _remember_ dying."

Again it was Sensei's _Haru-chan_ that makes him speak. "Twenty-five. Once fore both Original and Hana, twice as Haruka and the rest as Leon." Sensei looked so _sad_ so Haruka says, "Load Game. File Three."

He was handed another chocolate bar. "What does it mean to have a gamer ability?"

"I heal easily." He said. "Food and drink can heal me to certain extents- it depends on the food/drink in question- but sleeping a full eight hours heals me completely no matter what. Well, unless it's like poison and continuously injuring me as I sleep."

"So," Haruka clapped, "What now?"

.

* * *

.

 **Omake - Stuck**

Haruka knew immediately that something was wrong when he woke, he could feel it in his gut, in his bones- he could feel it in his _hair_. It was far too short for normal.

It was when he got up that he realized that, for some reason, he was still Gamer!Leon. "What-" Leon's bass-baritone echoed, "Happened!?"

"We were hoping that _you'd_ be able to tell us." Kakashi-sensei said.

Haruka turned and then froze because- he, _he-_ "I'm taller then _Sensei_!"


End file.
